Helpless
by Estef Winchester
Summary: Jasper's POV of how he feels about Alice.


_**A/N: This is something I wrote in portuguese a while ago for my sister, and decided to post here in english. Hope you all enjoy it.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

**Helpless When She Smiles**

When I met her, I can't say if it was love, passion, I don't know. I know that I lost myself on those golden eyes, I knew she was just like me, but her eyes, were different. She was smiling when I got in, and it was towards me. It was that way that I thought of her, with a beautiful smile, eyes sparking, for me.

_She keeps the secrets in her eyes_

_She wraps the truth inside her lies_

_Just when I can't take what she's done to me_

_She comes to me_

_And leads me back to paradise_

It was always like this, she would start teasing me, and when I wanted to do it my way, she would simply find a way to make things go her way. It wasn't easy to deceive her because of her visions, but there was a way and I was going to find out.

_She's so hard to hold_

_But I can't let go_

Was then that I realized, that she was my perdition, was not so long that we were together, however was more than enough for me to understand that. Every time I looked at her, there was nothing else around me, just her. When she smiled, I was completely doomed. Her way of walking, like she was dancing, hypnotized me, everything she did drove me insane, and that was just the beginning.

_I'm a house of cards in a hurricane_

_A reckless ride in the pouring rain_

_She cuts and the pain is all I wanna feel_

_She danced away just like a child_

_She drives me crazy, drives me wild_

_But I'm helpless when she smiles_

After two decades together, I was in her hands, and she knew it, every time she could, she would tell me how happy she was to have finally found me. All she needed to do was smile at me that I would do anything, gladly.

_Maybe I'd fight if I could_

_It hurts so bad, but feels so good_

_She opens up just like a rose to me_

_When she's close to me_

_Anything she asked me to, I would_

No way out. That was how I found myself once again, I couldn't escape, I didn't **want** to escape, I needed her, needed everything she gave me, absolutely everything. When we found the Cullens, I thought my need for her would diminish, that with new people around, things between us would get a little bit on the axis, but I was wrong, and as much as I tried to fool myself, I was happy about that.

_It's out of control_

_But I can't let go_

I thought I was going to lose her when she went after Edward with Bella, in Italy. If I still had a beating heart, he would be out of my chest. The moment she called, telling everyone was ok, and they were coming back, I was relieved, but it was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw her. No need for big gestures, a simple look from her was enough for me to understand that she didn't want to lie to me, she didn't have a choice, and I, once again, saw myself in our private world.

_I'm a house of cards in a hurricane_

_A reckless ride in the pouring rain_

_She cuts me and the pain is all I want to feel_

_She danced away just like a child_

_She drives me crazy, drives me wild_

_But I'm helpless when she smiles_

We were siting in the living room, looking at nothing in particular, the silence reigned in the big house. Everyone had left long ago, and there was only me and Alice. I never cared to be alone with her, on the contrary, I always like very much when it was just the two of us and no one else, but she was weird, there was something wrong and she didn't want to tell me. Although able to channel her feelings, she, somehow, could block the truth.

She looked lost on her own little world, like she was having a vision, but I knew she wasn't. When I decided to go out for a walk, or even to hunt, she was right there standing before me with her most dazzling smile, wrapped me in her arms and decided that I didn't want to live ever again.

_When she looks at me_

_I get so weak_

She is more than happy with the newest family member, Renesmee, Alice says that she is her little doll. I love to see them together, they look more like two kids and not an adult and a child. After Nessie goes to bed, she comes to me, and with no needs for words, she asks me to follow her, I don't care where to, I go wherever, as long as she is with me, and allows me to envision her sweetest smile.

_I'm a house of cards in a hurricane_

_A reckless ride in the pouring rain_

_She cuts me and the pain is all I want to feel_

_She danced away just like a child_

_She drives me crazy, drives me wild_

_But I'm helpless when she smiles_


End file.
